Emotional dependence: This type of pathological affiliation to the sentimental couple causes certain psychological conflicts.
People who suffer from emotional dependence will describe how their emotions are at the expense of their partner in an excessive way. Any minimal details can be taken as a sign that something is wrong in the relationship and cause enormous suffering in the person who has this problem.
It should be noted that emotional dependence is not loved, but an excessive dependence on the couple hidden behind the nuclear belief that “life ends without that person.”
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How can I know if I suffer from emotional dependence?
People who have this problem often manifest some of the beliefs discussed below:
The fear of breaking the relationship or being abandoned by your partner is usually present. This in many cases leads to excessive control of the couple, in order to avoid any event that could damage the relationship.
In order to avoid breaking up, the person with emotional dependence will forgive many things that he was not able to overlook before starting the relationship. It is common to find that the couple is not accepted as it is, however, it is intended to ignore this in the hope that it will change one day.
Many times, the dependent person becomes isolated from the rest of the world voluntarily. Her desire is to be permanently with her partner, which becomes her total priority while the rest of her relationships go to the background.
The need for constant signs of love is also another manifestation that such a problem may exist. And failing that, any signal that can be interpreted so that the couple is not their priority can be experienced as a terrible betrayal or a great threat to the relationship.
Transform your personality or style in order to please your partner. The reference point on which to act is the other. Sometimes, some characteristics of the couple in decline of their own can be idealized.
At the end of everything, the dependent person feels that he needs his partner. This is not a real need, but the person does live it as such.
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What are the short-term consequences of suffering from emotional dependence?
The first consequence at a glance is that these people live with great suffering. They can become all day controlling their partner, aware of what they do or do not do and having increasingly intense emotional reactions when the couple does not show how the dependent person expects them to do.
In any relationship, it is easy for our partner to end up behaving at some point in a way that does not please us and still continues despite the dislikes and anger. The dependent person may observe that, despite their complaints, their partner does not change. This may have a detrimental effect on your self-esteem, since you may fall into the error of not being considered “good enough” for your partner to change for him or her.
In fact, self-esteem and emotional dependence are closely related to each other and, in addition, they feed each other. Having strong self-esteem can function as a protective factor against emotional dependence since the beliefs we have discussed above lose meaning.
People who suffer from low self-esteem end up transmitting their “need” of love to their partner. When they are in need, they will go beyond all existing limits and accept situations that are not to their liking in order not to lose their partner, which can end up generating very toxic relationships.
Abuse can sometimes be present, even if we don’t talk about physical abuse as such. There may be humiliation, coercion, and manipulation that will be overlooked in order to continue the relationship.
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When to ask for help?
In many cases, the consequences of emotional dependence are banalized. However, the person who has this problem ends up finding that many areas of his life are affected as a result of this.
Many people leave jobs or make important life decisions based on their partner’s wishes and needs, regardless of what they really want themselves. It is also very frequent that other personal relationships such as friends and family are left aside, to devote all available time to your partner, so that your social circle in many cases is severely reduced.
In addition to these relationships tend to become very toxic, so in the end, we can see that a large part of life can be disrupted as a result of this problem. If you feel that you have entered a loop that you do not know how to exit, it may be time to ask for help.