Different ways in which the lack of communication in a couple of relationships wears the bond.
A fundamental pillar to make the relationship endure is communication. But not any kind of communication; It is necessary to learn to use assertive and honest communication strategies to deal adequately with the problems in the couple’s relationship.
In this article we are going to review the different ways in which the lack of communication in the couple negatively affects the love bond, preventing a healthy development of the quality of life of the members that confirm it and of their way of interacting in the day today.
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The importance of communication in romantic relationships
Coupleships are based primarily on trust to create a strong bond that holds two people together, and communication is an intrinsic part of the process of trusting someone. When we trust, we are able to express our feelings, emotions, and opinions in a frank and open manner with the other person.
In this way, it can be understood then why the lack of communication in the couple complicates the fact that the relationship works properly. Evade uncomfortable topics and pretend that the problems do not exist is counterproductive, the ideal is to converse to find solutions, as well as keep the other person to the current of what you think and feel about all kinds of significant issues.
It is important that couples with communication problems are able to recognize this situation in time, so they can find the necessary tools with which to improve this aspect of their relationship. Otherwise, the effective bond will become dysfunctional.
How does the lack of communication affect the couple?
Next, we will review a list of the main consequences of the lack of communication in the couple’s relationship.
1. Passive-aggressive attitude
The model of passive-aggressive communication can significantly damage the couple in times of conflict. The passive-aggressive attitude is based on pretending composure, a calm expression, a moderate tone of voice, and making people see that nothing happens when in reality we are irritated and we make it known in an indirect and ambiguous way.
If you are able to keep calm or calm during discussions, avoid that your words are hurtful directly or indirectly; It is not enough to maintain a proper tone of voice and good composure when what you say hurts the other person.
2. Not knowing how to listen
This problem represents one of the most common for couples and is a consequence of the lack of communication in the relationship. It is usual to see how in conversations people listen to respond, rather than to understand the message that the other person wants to convey to them. The longer this situation lasts, the greater the negative consequences that it leaves.
When this happens during the discussions, these become increasingly heated, and you never get to a conclusive point, because the members of the couple are constantly interrupted, preventing anyone from expressing their points of view normally.
3. Problems of anger
The difficulties in controlling one’s emotions, and especially anger, have a significant impact on the couple’s coexistence. This situation generates a vicious circle in which the feeling of anger makes us transmit ideas in the wrong way, and the bad styles of communication make us feel anger.
The best thing about this situation is to apply a good emotional recognition so that we can immediately know that we are angry and avoid acting or saying things during the time that this emotion is maintained. Thus, we who control anger, and not the other way around.
4. Negative criticism
When we complain excessively and negatively about our partner, it reveals that something is wrong in the communication process. The criticisms are linked to problematic circumstances that we have not been able to resolve.
If something you do not like about your partner, it is best to tell them and find a solution together. But if instead of that what happens is that you criticize their behavior without having the slightest intention of solving the conflict of origin, it is time to rethink the communicative styles that are handled.
5. Ignore the couple
Ignoring the couple is the most obvious way of lack of communication that exists. It is the total omission of any interest to improve the negative situation that damages the relationship. When we ignore, the implicit message we are sending is that we are not interested in doing something to improve the functioning of the relationship.
Offenses against the couple only get worse the initial situation. To lack the respect of the other while we have a discussion is the equivalent of putting more fuel in the fire. We generate a much more tense environment where anger and frustration become masters of the moment.
7. Stubborn attitude
Not giving the arm to twist is one of the things that most distance us from proper communication with our partner. Sometimes, it is better to lower your guard and accept that perhaps we have acted in an exaggerated manner in any situation.
Doing this does not imply weakness or submission, on the contrary, it reflects that we are mature enough to understand that we are not always right and there are times when we must accept that we have made a mistake, always learning from our mistakes.
8. Focus only on us
While it is true that we must always have our own love and not allow our partner to be above our needs, it is also necessary to understand that relationships are a thing of (at least) two people, and we can not only focus the focus on ourselves.
The ideal is to learn to see the needs of the other as important also, to be able to reach adaptive agreements, which bring benefits to coexistence and generate an environment of equality in the couple.
What to do to solve it?
The possibility of attending couples therapy should be one of the options that every couple that goes through this kind of problems should consider. In these sessions, work to improve the quality of communication is a central aspect of psychological intervention.