Expectations in love: Different ways of assessing whether what is expected in the future is adjusted to reality or not.
Relationships are not only based on love. In addition, they always go hand in hand with a series of commitments and efforts aimed at creating a climate of mutual trust. And this, in turn, makes expectations appear about what will happen in the future in that relationship.
Now, there are times when expectations of love do not adjust to reality, either because they are based on unjustified optimism, or because they make us fall into something that can almost be considered paranoia and fear of abandonment. Knowing whether to adjust to reality or not is one of the most important elements for the love bond to be maintained, in case you already have a partner, or to correct certain attitudes if you do not have a stable love relationship.
What are the expectations in relationships?
In the world of love relationships, expectations are the set of beliefs that delineate an expected or probable future in terms of coexistence and mutual accompaniment with real or imagined people (in the case of thinking of a couple who has not yet been found).
Thus, they are not limited to being a set of ideas “stored” inside the brain of each of the lovers, but they are constantly affecting the way in which the people who participate in the affective bond interact with each other day to day. day, although there is no explicit talk about future plans.
That is why it is vital to see to what extent these expectations are compatible and fit together, or to what extent these ideas are not too demanding with what life offers us. Keep in mind that these expectations are not only about how the person in love with us will be or could be, but also the material context in which the relationship will take place. For example: is it sensible to expect a couple’s life full of luxuries if money is not earned in the present? Probably not.
Next, we will examine, depending on whether there are expectations in love existing already a relationship or not, how we can adjust them to the sensible. First, let’s start with the case of those who already have a correspondent love bond.
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How to value expectations in love if you already have a partner
Follow these guidelines to reach an understanding as objective as possible, keep in mind these key ideas in your day by day.
1. Analyze the causes of possible fears
Many times, uncertainty makes us afraid to feel frustrated by placing too much hope in a relationship. It is clear that each case is unique, but in spite of this, it is possible to evaluate a series of objective criteria to make sure that there really are reasonable causes to doubt.
First, start thinking about your situation and creating a list. Second, think of the extent to which fears are associated with real or imagined signs, likely or not. You can sort them by following this criterion, and assess the importance that each one has for you.
2. Think about your self-esteem
Some fears may arise not from the characteristics of the relationship itself, but from self-esteem. This is very common in people who have an unkind concept of themselves and believe that they will be abandoned because they are not worth much. Detecting in this cause the problem is already a breakthrough, and psychological therapy usually helps.
3. Have you fantasized too much?
There are times when the glimpse of a very happy future makes us obsess with those ideas, and we go on to make our own happiness depend on it. In turn, the fear of not reaching that goal appears.
Therefore, reflect on whether really, in case of having in mind a tomorrow clearly marked by happiness far superior to that of the present, there are reasons to assume that this will be so, and what you are doing to achieve it.
4. Speak it
The sharing of these ideas is crucial. Talking about your illusions and your fears can be somewhat stressful, but it is necessary if there are suspicions of an imbalance in this aspect. Of course, it is crucial to do it from a constructive point of view.
And if you’re in the bachelor …
When it comes to reviewing your expectations of love being single, follow these tips.
1 .. Do you have a very strong filter? Check it
Sometimes, we discard the possibility of initiating relationships with certain people simply because they do not fulfill one or several very delimited characteristics. Does this make sense?
2. Are you trying to give an image that is not real? Do not do it
There are those who hope to have romantic relationships by attracting the profile of an ideal boyfriend or girlfriend by behaving in It’s supposed to attract that kind of people. It is an imposture that does not lead anywhere to practice.
3. Have you assumed loneliness? Question to the
Nobody has to be alone, although certain people have it easier to get attention from the rest defeatism means that the rest of the people do not perceive any interest in oneself.