To try to make this fit between the members of a couple optimal, the dialogue is essential. Communication is one of the basic pillars of a relationship because the dialogue is what allows the project of life in common that two people who love each other to begin. In living with others it is always necessary to negotiate, yield and reach agreements, and relationships are not an exception.
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Social skills, key in the relationship
Many times we think that true love fits by magic, that when two people love each other things always happen in their favor because the force of love can with everything. This may be very good for the script of a Hollywood movie, but in real life, for a couple to work, the two lovers have to do their part.
Over time, one learns that it is necessary to possess a series of interpersonal competences for love to triumphs, such as communicative skills, empathy, active listening, assertiveness, respect or patience … In relationships, conflicts can arise at any time, the key is knowing how to solve them.
Questions to know if you are well with your partner
Believing that there will be no ups and downs in a relationship is an irrational belief and the attitude with which one faces difficulties often determines its success or not. The important thing is to manage the situation so that it does not get out of hand, because as the conflicts progress, then it costs more to return to the starting point.
So the first step is to detect that things are not going well at all. If you have a partner and you are in a difficult situation, you may wonder … how is it possible to know if a couple is going through a crisis? Below you can find a series of questions that will help you reflect on your situation.
1. Are there grudges?
Love is a magical and intense feeling for both good and bad. Being in love is one of the most incredible experiences that human beings can live, but the emotional pain we feel when things are not going well in our love relationship is very deep and penetrating.
Conflicts with our crush or crush hurt us more than the confrontations with other people (for example, a friend) and provoke in us a much stronger and passionate reaction.
Therefore, it is easy to feel offended when things do not go as you wish and the discomfort can cause a huge resentment when problems are not solved. If there are grudges towards your partner better than the solutions as soon as possible; otherwise, the problem can be growing and the tension can be so great that the relationship will end up breaking.
2. Do you negotiate in conflicts?
Communication problems are one of the most common reasons for conflict between lovers. The quality of communication determines the future of a relationship, and that is why it is necessary to listen to the other person and be assertive, especially in difficult times. Conflicts can arise at any time because we all have our needs and our own space within a relationship.
Knowing how to empathize with the other person, paying attention to their opinion and negotiating avoids many problematic situations and helps prevent the relationship from becoming toxic. If you realize that either of you imposes your opinion, do not listen to the other or negotiate the important aspects, it may be time to solve it.
3. Do you agree on the important things?
It is not necessary that you always share the same points of view, however, in important things (such as common goals and ambitions) you should agree in a general way.
Each member of the couple has an individual scale of values, but as the relationship strengthens, it is necessary to build a common scale of values. This is essential to have a life project together, to help you navigate the same direction and give the relationship a sense of transcendence.
4. Does it support you in difficult times?
People are not perfect and neither are couples. But if the relationship goes through a bad time due to difficult life circumstances, for example, work or personal problems, it is always better to remain united than to throw each one on the one hand.
Do you feel that your partner is there for you and supports you in difficult times? How does it behave with you when you are alone? Reflecting on these questions can make you see if your partner is committed to the relationship. On and with you.
5. Do intimate relationships work?
The intimate moments with the couple play a very important role in its unity and stability and influence the emotional health of its members. Embraces, kisses, signs of love and sexual relations make the members of the relationship feel a unique connection. But with the passage of time, it is possible that the intensity of sexual contact decreases and that sometimes the monotony can be reached, and this can cause serious problems for the good progress of the couple.
When passion begins to diminish, it is important to look for mechanisms that revive passion again in the sexual field, otherwise, harmony in intimate relationships and in the expression of affectivity are affected. If this occurs, it is necessary to reverse the situation as soon as possible.
If you take time with your partner and notice that the frequency of intimate relationships is not the same as at the beginning of the relationship, it is normal, but if you perceive that there are sexual difficulties and that sex is no longer an intimate experience that connects you deeply, Maybe you are going through a bad time. Attending couples therapy can help restore that bond and can give you the opportunity to overcome this situation.
6. Are you thinking of cheating on your partner?
Without a doubt, one of the fundamental values to build a stable love relationship and marriage is fidelity. In fact, one of the most frequent reasons why a couple goes to psychotherapy sessions is to overcome this act considered a betrayal and disloyalty.
The monotony or communication problems are often, at the root of the infidelity, although the person who is unfaithful, to avoid feeling bad, can blame his partner for having reached this situation. While it is true that the fault is often the two, the person who has carried out the infidelity has made the decision to act like this.
Surely he could have resorted to other options, for example, having spoken with confidence with his partner about what he thought was not working in the relationship. Whatever the cause, if you also find yourself in this situation and if you are thinking of being unfaithful, there is something in the relationship that fails.
7. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person?
Perhaps your relationship is going through a bad time and you have an immense desire to get away from this relationship since it is affecting your day by day and you have stopped being the person you were. Like the gap that separates you and your partner is so large that you no longer want to stay with him.
However, it may happen that, despite the conflicts that have appeared in your relationship, deep down you know that your partner has a good heart and that it is worth fighting for those who unite you, which is a lot.